As I was sitting in a café last week, I observed a parent walk past accompanied by a toddler. Nothing unusual about that! I noticed that the parent was engrossed in their phone and was not holding the hand of their toddler. Perhaps that’s ok too, if it’s only for a moment. However, this parent was striding ahead and had no connection at all with their toddler, who was trailing some distance behind them for the entire time I could see them. And that is concerning.
Leaving aside any concerns about a toddler in a high traffic area not being closely supervised by their parent, what I was minded of was the recent studies into the rapidly worsening situation of children’s language development. Research published in the AMA paediatrics journal reported that 3yo children were missing thousands of opportunities to hear words and develop language each day due to screen interference. Whilst the study focussed on screen time for children, the flip side of the coin is adult screen time. This means that the parent is not engaging with the child for long periods of time each day and the opportunity to develop language through these interactions is lost.
I’m not suggesting that parents should give up their phones and other devices, parents need connection too, but it is essential that this is balanced with meaningful periods of time where the device is put aside, and the child gets the full attention of the parent.
Apart from the benefit for language development, there is a clear benefit in social development too. Children are little learning sponges and the experiences they have when they are young and most open to learning impact them for life. When working with parents I help them understand that any time they devote to playing, talking, reading and interacting with their child is not time spent, but time well invested. It is an investment in the sense that there is a direct, though delayed, benefit to be gained.
Parents who invest the most time in their children get the greatest returns of all. They dramatically increase the chances of their child developing stronger language skills, successful social skills and healthier connection with those around them. This means their child is less likely to have behavioural issues and as adults their mental health and wellbeing will be as good as possible. Parents also save a fortune in future counselling and remedial education costs. What’s not to like about that?