Take responsibility and self evaluate

It seems there is an increasing tendency for people in our society today to allocate responsibility for anything negative that happens in their life to anyone or anything other than themselves. It seems far easier to blame he, she, it or they, than it is to accept responsibility and do something about a negative situation themselves.

This doesn’t mean that you are responsible for everything bad that happens to you, but rather that you are always responsible for what you choose to do about it. Those who make a habit of refusing to take on board responsibility become disempowered and may become victims in the difficult situations they find themselves. Those who do take up the challenge of responsibility are the ones who fare best when life’s challenges appear to be overwhelming.

When I come across someone who is prepared to take responsibility for themselves, I am immensely heartened, for I know that no matter how awful their experience they are sure to become more than a survivor, they become the thrivers; and thriving is something we all should want for ourselves. I am truly impressed by those who take on the attitude that they are responsible for what happens to them next, because I know they will get the best outcomes.

Taking responsibility for ones situation is the first step, the second is to self-evaluate. Self-evaluating is a skill which many of us have not learned. We are very quick to anger or become miserable and start judging, criticising and blaming others, or worse still ourselves. Criticising and blaming in anger are not self-evaluation, we need to look at the situation, accept it is not satisfactory and figure out what steps we need to take to get a better result; and there are always steps we can take, even in what appears to be the most hopeless of situations.

The person who learns the behaviours of taking responsibility and self-evaluating will still experience challenges and difficult times, all of us do and nothing can stop that. The difference is that when they do experience life’s challenges, they are in the perfect place to ensure the best outcome possible. This is something we  can all learn; it is worth the time and effort to learn how to have a responsible attitude and develop the skill of self-evaluation. It is also essential that we help our children and those we care about and love to learn them as well, and the best way to do that is to walk the talk in our own lives.