Dear A, there are many different ways that counselling can be performed, whether that is carried out by a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor. The main thing you should be taking into account is the relationship you are able to form with them. It should be warm and supportive whilst still professional and not overstepping the mark in terms of that relationship.
Often people worry about the counselling style their particular helper uses, there has been much research into the effectiveness of various counselling styles, but over and beyond the style of counselling used is the importance of the effectiveness of the persons particular counselling approach and the degree to which you as a client can trust that this is a person who can help you effectively, and that often comes down to personal preference. The best way to find a counsellor and a style which is likely to work for you is to ask.
Firstly, ask people you know, particularly those who may have similar interests and values to you, as this will likely lead to a greater chance that the professional they find effective could be effective for you as well. Secondly, take the time to talk to the professional you choose and find out a bit about how they work, not just what their qualifications are. Qualifications are a guide but don’t tell you much about how the person operates, if they are not prepared to talk to you about this then you have little to go on in regard to working out if they might be right for you. Engaging a professional to help you is a very deep and personal thing to do and you owe it to yourself to be careful about your selection. Lastly see how early sessions go. It may well be that despite doing all of the above, the professional you choose is not the right fit for you, this is not a reflection on either you or them, but it is a huge mistake to continue with sessions when you don’t have faith and trust in the process.
You should expect a couple from things in your session, the first is utmost kindness and respect for you and also a clear commitment to confidentiality. These are the bedrock upon which trust can be built. The process should be one where your counsellor walks beside you as you gradually take charge of your life. They shouldn’t take charge and try to control what you do, and they shouldn’t be judging and criticising the choices you have made in the past. A good relationship will ensure that they offer you feedback on what has happened in the past and if you can’t think of alternative behaviours which would better meet your needs, make suggestions you could use as a basis for your course of action.