I often have clients attend counselling because they believe they are unmotivated and want help to regain motivation. These individuals are usually desperately unhappy and often anxious or depressed. They don’t realise that the very act of picking up the phone and booking an appointment and actually making the effort to turn up shows they already have motivation. They are motivated to do something about their unhappy situation.
What is motivation? It can be described as the reason we act; in fact, it is the reason behind every action we take. From the smallest action to the most important action, all of our behaviour is driven by motivation. Whenever we want or need something, that is our motivation kicking in and urging us to act. Contrary to popular belief all motivation is internal. Some believe that external factors like rewards or punishment create motivation, but that is a misunderstanding. In reality our motivation to act still comes down to our internal decision regarding whether we believe the reward is satisfactory, or that we wish to avoid the punishment enough, to change our behaviour.
Our internal motivation is driven by our desire to satisfy our needs. In fact, all of our behaviours are chosen in the belief that they will satisfy our needs in some way or to avoid our needs being harmed. These needs include the need to survive, the need to gain love and belonging, the need to have some choice and control in our life, the need to grow and learn and the need to achieve. When our needs are threatened or not met, we are motivated to act and do something about protecting or meeting them. When our needs are being met, we are motivated to try to keep choosing behaviours that continue to meet them.
When someone thinks they are unmotivated they are really describing a state where they don’t believe taking action will work, so they don’t do anything. The end result is they feel more and more miserable and physically drained and end up in a negative spiral.
The hard truth is the only way to start a more positive spiral is to start doing things again even though it is difficult. Motivation becomes easier when we experience more and more small successes in meeting our needs and as this becomes our new default behaviour we will feel more prepared to take other actions which further improve our situation.