Ride the wave
Surfers know the physiological and psychological benefit of catching a wave. This effect is so powerful that they will enter freezing cold water, which could even contain Great White sharks in order to get it. Luckily, we have a version of catching and riding a wave which doesn’t require you to have great balance, toned […]
Take responsibility and self evaluate
It seems there is an increasing tendency for people in our society today to allocate responsibility for anything negative that happens in their life to anyone or anything other than themselves. It seems far easier to blame he, she, it or they, than it is to accept responsibility and do something about a negative situation […]
Doom Scrolling
With the advent of the internet and the proliferation of news feeds and social media we now have a massive amount of information available to us. Of course, not all of it is accurate or reliable and it can be quite a challenge to sort out the wheat from the chaff, but that is a […]
All relationships are transactional
I know that is a controversial thing to hear for many people, but let’s explore the idea a little more. We have been led to believe that love is altruistic and to expect something back when you care about another is somehow unworthy or even unhealthy. This is based on the view that being selfless […]
Hold the phone
As I was sitting in a café last week, I observed a parent walk past accompanied by a toddler. Nothing unusual about that! I noticed that the parent was engrossed in their phone and was not holding the hand of their toddler. Perhaps that’s ok too, if it’s only for a moment. However, this parent […]
The three things we can change
Sooner or later every one of us will be faced with a situation which is challenging or downright unacceptable and unbearable. When faced with such a situation most of us will be angry, upset, anxious or overwhelmed. We will particularly feel that way if we believe that we have little or no ability to control […]
Motivation! We already have enough even if we don’t know it.
I often have clients attend counselling because they believe they are unmotivated and want help to regain motivation. These individuals are usually desperately unhappy and often anxious or depressed. They don’t realise that the very act of picking up the phone and booking an appointment and actually making the effort to turn up shows they […]
Gaslighting is Insidious
Gaslighting is a term many of us would not be familiar with, but the behaviour it describes is something we have all experienced or seen happening, even if we were not aware of it at the time. The term comes from a 1944 psychological film classic of the same name. The plot involves a husband […]
Connection is Crucial to Happiness
I recently read a fascinating report about the world’s longest research into happiness carried out by scientists at Harvard University. The study followed and tracked the lives of 724 participants and their descendants from 1938 to the current day, a period of 85 years. The researchers were looking to see if they could discover what […]
The Promise of Christmas
Each new Christmas comes around with the hope of a happy and joyous time with family and friends. Sometimes this is the case and it will be enjoyed, but often hopes are dashed and emotions crushed as the experience doesn’t match the expectation. Rather than learning from this, people will often go through the same […]