The three things we can change
Sooner or later every one of us will be faced with a situation which is challenging or downright unacceptable and unbearable. When faced with such a situation most of us will be angry, upset, anxious or overwhelmed. We will particularly feel that way if we believe that we have little or no ability to control […]
Motivation! We already have enough even if we don’t know it.
I often have clients attend counselling because they believe they are unmotivated and want help to regain motivation. These individuals are usually desperately unhappy and often anxious or depressed. They don’t realise that the very act of picking up the phone and booking an appointment and actually making the effort to turn up shows they […]
Gaslighting is Insidious
Gaslighting is a term many of us would not be familiar with, but the behaviour it describes is something we have all experienced or seen happening, even if we were not aware of it at the time. The term comes from a 1944 psychological film classic of the same name. The plot involves a husband […]
Connection is Crucial to Happiness
I recently read a fascinating report about the world’s longest research into happiness carried out by scientists at Harvard University. The study followed and tracked the lives of 724 participants and their descendants from 1938 to the current day, a period of 85 years. The researchers were looking to see if they could discover what […]
The Promise of Christmas
Each new Christmas comes around with the hope of a happy and joyous time with family and friends. Sometimes this is the case and it will be enjoyed, but often hopes are dashed and emotions crushed as the experience doesn’t match the expectation. Rather than learning from this, people will often go through the same […]
The Power of Acceptance
It is the night of Wednesday Oct 29 2023 and I am sitting in a Cann River motel writing this piece as the rain is pelting down from one of our famous “East Coast Lows”. It took me two hours to drive here from Orbost today, a trip which normally takes around 45 minutes. The […]
Physical Activity and Your Mental Health
There is no longer any doubt about the huge benefits to our overall health and wellbeing when we engage in regular physical activity. Of particular interest is the boost our brain receives. Neuroscience allows us to see what happens in the brain and we can now measure many of the positive effects exercise has, and […]
All Behaviours are Habits, and That’s a Good Thing
Many creatures when born have genetically programmed into them nearly all the behaviours they will ever need. In fact, such creatures are left to fend for themselves right from the moment they are born. They already know how to feed themselves, how to find food and how to reproduce. There are no periods of helplessness […]
The Positive Effects of Internal Control Psychology
My last column was about the damage to relationships caused by external control psychology. Today I want to share that the only thing on the planet we truly control is ourselves, that may seem obvious, but very few people live by the ethos of internal control psychology; its use is the secret behind all great […]
The Damaging Effects of External Control
One of the biggest problems in the world today and the root cause of every conflict, argument or fight that ever occurred, is a psychology called External Control. It has been stated that up to 90% of the world’s population may operate using this psychology as a basis for their thinking and relationships. External Control […]