How do I get get along with a difficult neighbour?
How do I get get along with a difficult neighbour? Thanks for the question K. Living near someone who is hard to get along with can be frustrating and emotionally draining. It might be tempting to avoid them altogether, or to respond with anger or blame. However, if your goal is to improve the situation […]
Focus on the Present and the Future, not the Past
When something goes wrong in life, whether it’s a relationship, a health issue, or just a general feeling that things aren’t right, it’s tempting to look backward. We replay old conversations, blame our childhood, or dredge up past hurts. But here’s the truth: no matter how far or deep we dig into the past; we […]
Q Is moving away to get a fresh start a good idea?
Thanks for your Question S, the idea that a new city or country might be the solution and that new faces, unfamiliar streets, fresh coffee shops and different conversations could work is tantalising. We think to ourselves “If I can just get away, maybe everything will feel different. Maybe I’ll feel different and everything will […]
Are Punishment and Rewards for children effective?
This topic often raises intense emotions and discussion when raised. In homes and classrooms across the world, methods of discipline mainly fall into two categories: punishment and reward. Whether it’s a gold star for good behaviour or a punishment for misbehaviour, many parents and teachers rely on these strategies to encourage children to do what’s […]
Understanding Impostor Syndrome
Impostor syndrome is the persistent feeling of self-doubt and inadequacy despite evident success. Individuals experiencing this often believe they are deceiving others about their capabilities and live with the fear of being exposed as a fraud. This internal struggle can be better understood through a framework that focuses on basic human needs and how behaviour […]
Why External Control Is the Biggest Problem in Relationships.
According to psychiatrist William Glasser, every human being is driven by five basic psychological needs: survival, love and belonging, power (or significance), freedom, and fun(learning and growing). When these needs are not met, people experience distress—and often this distress manifests in our relationships. The most damaging force in any relationship is external control, the attempt […]
The Purpose of Life: Living Fully in the Here and Now
A common question many of my clients who are depressing or miserabling ask is what is the point of it all? Here is my take on this age old question In the endless search for meaning, one truth emerges with compelling clarity: the purpose of life is to live it—fully, honestly, and as well as […]
Is Multitasking Really Productive?
For people obsessed with efficiency, multitasking has long been celebrated as the gold standard of productivity. Juggling emails while attending meetings, responding to texts while writing reports — these behaviours are often seen as hallmarks of a high-performing individual. But mounting research says otherwise: multitasking isn’t just overrated; it’s actually undermining your performance. Numerous studies […]
Do narcissistic behaviours appear differently in men and women?
From my Ask Jeff Newspaper column Thanks M, that is a really topical question. I am increasingly seeing that people are being labelled as Narcissistic. Characterized by behaviours such as a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, narcissistic behaviour can appear differently depending on gender. While narcissistic behaviour can […]
How can I trust you?
In my counselling work the question of trust arises often. It could be between life partners; a parent and their child, or it could be in regard to business agreements or between colleagues. It is a word which is used often but poorly understood. Many a person has angrily stated they want the person in […]